In
an excellent HBR article entitled ‘the art of giving and receiving advice’
David Garvin and Joshua Margolis highlight how “seeking and giving advice are
central to effective leadership and decision making. Yet managers seldom view
them as practical skills they can learn and improve. Receiving guidance is
often seen as a passive consumption of wisdom. And advising is typically
treated as a matter of ‘good judgement’ – where you either have it or you
don’t, rather than a competency to be mastered.”
There
are many influencing factors that influence our basic desire to seek advice,
just as much as they influence how we give advice;
Our
upbringing – i.e. were we encouraged to seek advice when we were growing up, or
did we ‘learn’ that asking for advice was often seen as a weakness and hence
we’ve taught ourselves that it’s better just to ‘keep quite’ and appear smart.
This influencing factor has a huge impact not just on how individuals avoid
seeking advice, but also significantly impacts how these individuals give
advice and their perception of those that ‘seek ‘ advice from them.
Organisational
culture influences employees ‘desire’ to both seek and give advice. Some
organisations encourage an open and transparent environment where employees are
encouraged to seek advice from as many quarters as possible and this is seen as
a strength. Also in these cultures ‘leaders’ are keen and available to give
advice but not from a position of power and/or telling, but based on the
situation – where for example they might counsel; or coach; or mentor depending
on the situation and the type of advice being sort.
Age
will influence an employee’s desire both to give and seek advice. It wasn’t
that long ago – before the advent of social media and the like, that age equated
to wisdom. In fact it wasn’t that long ago that age equated to seniority and
hence perceived experience – and this is still true in some cultures today. But
organisations have learnt that age and historical experience don’t on their own
equate to genuine wisdom as business is constantly evolving and changing over
short time intervals. So the wisdom resides with those that have learnt to
adapt to different business scenarios and who are up-to-date with current
business skills.
But
because of the above, there will be some who have been in business for a long
time who genuinely believe that they know best; and what they don’t know isn’t
worth knowing. And then at the other end of the spectrum there will be those
who have been in business for a long time who are nervous about seeking advice
as they fear that it will be perceived as a weakness rather than a strength –
but this links more to culture than age.
As
Garvin and Margolis mention “advice seekers and givers must clear significant
hurdles, such as deeply ingrained tendency to prefer their own opinions
irrespective of their merit, and the fact that careful listening is hard,
time-consuming work. The whole interaction is a subtle and intricate art. On
both sides it requires emotional intelligence, self-awareness, restraint,
diplomacy, and patience. The process can derail in many ways, and getting it
wrong can have damaging consequences – misunderstanding and frustration,
decision gridlock, subpar solutions, frayed relationships, and thwarted
personal development – with substantial cost to individuals and their
organisation.”
Even
then, it is not a ‘black and white’ scenario – some employees may be good at
asking for or giving advice in certain situations and not in others; good at
giving or receiving advice on certain topics and not on others; etc. Just the
daily pressure of work can significantly influence the quality of advice given
or received.
Garvin
and Margolis remind us that “whether you’re receiving or giving advice, flawed
logic and limited information complicate the process. Advice seekers must
identify their blind spots, recognize when and how to ask for guidance, draw
useful insights from the right people, and overcome and inevitable
defensiveness about their own views. Advisors, too, face a myriad of challenges
as they try to interpret messy situations and provide guidance on seemingly
intractable problems.”
When
you’re seeking advice, watch out for these common obstacles;
1) Thinking
you already have the answers;
2) Choosing
the wrong advisers;
3) Defining
the problem poorly;
4) Discounting
advice;
5) Misjudging
the quality of advice;
And
when you’re giving advice, watch out for these common tendencies that can cause
problems;
1) Overstepping
boundaries;
2) Misdiagnosing
the problem;
3) Offering
self-centered guidance;
4) Communicating
advice poorly;
5) Mishandling
the aftermath;
Garvin
and Margolis mention that “though seekers and advisors work together to solve
problems, they have different vantage points. Recent social psychology research
shows that people in an advisory role focus on overarching purpose (why an
action should be performed), whereas recipients of advice – who usually face an
impending decision – are more concerned with tactics (how to get things done).
An individual is likely to think idealistically as an advisor but pragmatically
as a seeker, even when confronting the same challenge.”
You’ll
often find that those who are best at giving advice are those that regularly seek
advice themselves, regardless of their level in the organisation – and that’s
what makes them extra special advice givers. They appreciate that asking and
giving advice is an art – and they are keen to perfect it.
Garvin
and Margolis conclude that “overall our guidelines for both seekers and
advisers amount to a fundamental shift in approach. Although people typically
focus on the content of advice, those who are most skilled attend just as much
to how they advise as to what they advise. It’s a mistake to think of advice as
a one-and-done transaction. Skilled advising is more than the dispensing and
accepting of wisdom; it’s a creative, collaborative process – a matter of
striving, on both sides, to better understand problems and craft promising
paths forward. And that often requires an ongoing conversation.”
The
danger is that future generations aren’t being encouraged to ask for advice
face-to-face; but are being taught at an early age that they can get advice
remotely – without being able to check whether the ‘adviser’ is qualified or
whether advice is accurate or not, often until it is much too late. The art of
seeking and giving advice needs to be an integral part of the educational
curriculum so that ‘we’ can teach future generations the importance of seeking
and giving the right advice.
References:
Garvin,
D.A. and Margolis, J.D. (2015). The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice. Harvard
Business Review. Jan/Feb, p.61-71.
