Maybe it’s just me – but I’ve been amazed at just
how wrong first impressions actually can be and how judging people by them can
often get you into a heap of trouble.
In the consulting space it’s a known fact that those
employees who are most helpful when you first start a project are, more often
than not, being helpful for their own hidden agendas, which mostly revolves
around you ‘praising’ their support, dedication and ‘hard work’ to senior
management – which helps make them look good. Where more often than not you
soon find out these are the employees who are actually part of the problem on
the ground.
And at the other extreme in those early days of a
project, those employees who are your biggest detractors and who don’t accept
the ‘consultants’ on face value, and really challenging your practical
experience and what you can really do to help the organization – are more often
than not the ‘projects champions’ at the end of the day.
This is just one of many instances when first
impressions are the direct opposite of the ‘real’ person – where one is playing
a game to appear supportive when they’re not; and the other is so committed to
their organization that they are simply checking that you’re not going to waste
their time (and the company’s time and money) in some ‘head-in-the-clouds’
venture.
Yet the first time you meet these people it’s easy
to be fooled by the first impressions and get their personal commitment
completely about-face.
Richard Branson, for example, in his book ‘losing my
virginity’ stated that “in the same way that I tend to make up my mind about
people within thirty seconds of meeting them, I also make up my mind about
whether a business proposal excites me within about thirty seconds of looking
at it. I rely far more on gut instinct than researching huge amounts of
statistics.”
Yet the alternate view suggests that; “I don't know
if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
You can look at a painting for the first time, for example, and not like it at
all, but after looking at it a little longer you may find it very pleasing. The
first time you try Gorgonzola cheese you may find it too strong, but when you
are older you may want to eat nothing but Gorgonzola cheese. Your initial
opinion on just about anything may change over time,” (from Lemony Snicket, The
Bad Beginning).
It has been long asserted that people make up their
minds about people they meet for the first time within two minutes. Others
assert that these first impressions about people take only thirty seconds to
make. But what’s interesting is that there seems to be little research and
feedback on just how accurate our ‘impressions’ actually are.
It’s worth remembering from a psychological
perspective that “the exaggerated impact of first impressions is related to the
halo effect, that phenomenon whereby the perception of positive qualities in
one thing or part gives rise to the perception of similar qualities in related
things or in the whole. The halo effect is powerful, but it is questionable
whether it matters much in long-term relationships, such as that between
teacher and student, for example. While dressing up may predispose students to
think the teacher must know his subject matter because he creates a
professional first impression, the effect wears thin if the person turns out to
be a poor teacher after all.”
Arthur Dobrin wrote that “first impressions matter
but substance has the final word. If you had never seen or heard of Einstein,
the first time you saw him your impression would most likely be negative. Now
his face is associated with genius, not madness because he is the person who
has come to define what genius is.”
As much as first impressions are important if you
are sincere in giving them – as a receiver of a first impression you must be
open to the fact that this first impression may simply be a cleverly crafted
show made to impress – and not a true reflection of the person in front of you
at all.
In business this is something you always need to be
aware of.
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